Monday, October 27, 2003


If any of you guys are thinking of picking up an older woman in a Colorado bar, you'd better think twice!


What A Way To Go!

I don't know if these folks had it or drowned in it.


Good Job, Matt!

I don't know who is more effective as a press agent. Bill O'Reilly for Al Franken? Or, Matt Drudge for this Reagan tele-film?

Drudge is doing a great job building up this series by continuing to point out the outrageous scenes it contains. Every day, we are told another obscenity: Reagan wanted to invade Canada, Reagan thought that he was Napoleon, etc.

The Reagans are polarizing people. There is no grey area with them. My favorite lie about them was that Frank Sinatra used to sneak into the White House to fuck Nancy. I remember some newspaper called Jilly Rizzo, Sinatra's long-time buddy/go-fer, about the allegation. Rizzo laughed it off saying that it was ridiculous because Sinatra could have any woman in the world. Why would he have to sneak inside the White House?

The problem with the Reagan movie is that this sort of stuff becomes accepted as the truth.


Calgon, Take Me Away!

This Iraq deal is turning out to be a giant fuck-up.

Most of the trouble-makers/evil-doers are not Iraqis. They are Moroccans, Jordanians, Palestinians, Egyptians and, of course, Saudis. We appear to be doing just as good a job of securing the Iraqi border as we are our own.

The hunt for Saddam (and Osama) is turning into a Pancho Villa deal. We ought to just tell everyone that the guy has no power and he will eventually be caught and executed. It's bad PR to keep telling the press (and the people) that "We just missed him."

I came across this website that lists TE Lawrence's 27 Articles for Handling The Arabs. I wonder if anyone in power looks at them anymore. Or, do we just know better?

I'm also becoming disappointed with Bush. Rather than sending his men out to meet on Sunday with the likes of Bob Schieffer and George Stuffapoleuphisass, he ought to be making his case directly to the people. If he doesn't feel that the press is treating him fairly, he should be on the tube everynight getting the message out.

Anyway, enough about this shit.


Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Chapter 11 Would Have Been A Better Move

Another man in Africa has been butchered. This time by his own hand.


Tell Your Mother To Bring Her Swimsuit

Listen up guys, I've found the perfect place to send your mother-in-law.



Deneuve is 60 today. She is probably the most beautiful woman that ever existed.


Fucked Up World Dept.

Jesus, this whole fucking thing is getting depressing. The Saudis are trying to get nukes from Pakistan. The fat, drunken, sex-obsessed princes running Arabia don't worry me. Their radicalized Wahabbi populace does. When the princes are finally overthrown, then the nuts will have the nukes. Well, they already have them in Iran. And, North Korea is going to arm anyone eventually. Traditional disarmament is out the window.
When I get to Vegas, I'll try to lay odds on a nuclear event happening by 2010. I just hope that the bastards blow each other up. Unfortunately, they will kill millions of innocent people in the process.
We had better start building a shield soon.


Monday, October 20, 2003

Who's The Bigger Idiot?

Nathaniel Heatwole is in trouble for leaving box cutters and some chemicals aboard two Southwest Airline planes. Heatwole did something wrong.

However, the fucking geniuses at the TSA did something worse. They allowed a man to board an aircraft with boxcutters TWICE.

The airline also allowed these things to float around for FIVE weeks on the goddamn plane before they were found.

Now, the heavy-handed flatfoots at the FBI are coming down on Heatwole. We would be better served if the Department of Hopeless Security did something about barely competent airline security.

As long as we punish Heatwole and do nothing about the holes that he exposed, we are setting ourselves up for another 9/11.


Sunday, October 19, 2003


Unlike The Stinkmeister, I have not been on the case. I have been swamped at work, dealing with a diva for a boss and a database project that is coming along slowly. I'm also angling for a possible move to Arizona.

The latter would get me out of New York before I go berserk on some fat-ass tourist from Kansas.


Monday, October 13, 2003

The Stinkmeister Is On The Case

Thank God for Philadelphia's Stinkmeister! This just might be the best column in America!


Send An Athletic Supporter To Africa Fund

This latest story makes me think that African men might benefit from some protection.


You Closed What?

If you are planning to have surgery performed by Dr. William Stefanich, you might want to reconsider.


Who Is Footing The Bill?

It's nice that the Egyptian Twins were separated here in the US, but just who is paying for this? No taxpayer money should be spent on this sort of thing.


Saturday, October 11, 2003

Fuck 'em All!

Please check out my link for Stewarts Drive-In of Kearny, NJ. It seems to have been hacked by something called Q8Crackers. These ratshits apparently like Hitler.

I'm sure that there will be more and more of this sort of BS.


Tony Bennett Can Keep It

San Francisco is a fucking hellhole. Downtown smells like piss and shit. Homeless people are everywhere. New York under Eddie Koch was never this bad.

I stayed at the Renaissance Parc 55 Hotel. Friday morning, at 4:30, I went to the internet terminals in the second floor lobby. There, I found a homeless woman sleeping on a sofa near the bar. This would not happen anywhere else.

San Francisco gives its homeless population cash, about $430 a month. That means that these people, who cannot manage their own lives, have $430 to spend on drugs and alcohol.

Most of these people need medical, particularly psychiatric, help. Many need long stints in rehab. They don't belong on the streets.


Mugabe Stole My Thing

I'm back from the Left Coast and just in time to link to this story from Gambia.

What the fuck is going on in Africa? Penis Snatching? Men cutting off their members to teach their wives a lesson?


Sunday, October 05, 2003

What Does This Have To Do With Anything?

I got this email today:

Good Afternoon:

Please consider adding a link to us on your resources page:

We are Foodservicedirect - a leading online supplier of restaurant supplies including cookware, glassware, bar supplies and paper supplies.

Thanks for your consideration!

Randy Smith
Marketing Services
27 Forest Ave.
Locust Valley, NY 11560
Telephone: 516-759-9000

Please give Randy a call or send him an email. How did he get to Sociopathocracy?

Thanks! And, I mean that, Babes.


Off To San Francisco

The satanic forces have decreed that I must spend the next week in San Francisco. It's not the worst city to spend a week in, but I'd rather it'd be Miami or Vegas.

I hate business travel. The airlines all SUCK except for jetBlue. Hotel desk staff usually consists of snotty, recent graduates who think that their name tag gives them some importance. The bed sheets and blankets are probably full of dried bodily fluids. Finally, the phone charges and minibars are rip-offs.

So, there will probably be no posts until Friday.

If my plane goes down, it's the fault of Norman Minetta, the airlines, TSA buger-flippers, an ineffectual FBI/CIA and/or goddamn religious nuts (in no particular order).



Workers Paradise Dept.

MSNBC has a piece on a North Korean Defector that includes cannibalism. Jimmy Carter will probably blame George Bush for that.


Hey, Pallie, I Can't Sleep With All That Roarin' Goin' On Upstairs

Some lunatic in Harlem, had a tiger and an alligator in his apartment. He fed the tiger 60 pounds of raw meat a week. How he kept it away from the alligator, I'll never know. And, did it use a ltter box?

I do suppose that his apartment was never burgled.


We've Got 'Em Here, Too!

Two British authors have compiled a list of the 50 worst places to live in Britain. It is called Crap Towns.

I would like to nominate my former hometown of Union City, NJ. It is a square mile dump. Among its many features:

1. Corrupt politicians
2. Lousy Architecture - Lean-tos and wood-frame boxes built right next to each other
3. No Culture
4. Union Corruption
5. High Population Density
6. Lousy, Overcrowded Schools
7. Down-Market Restaurants
8. No Trees - The upscale residents like to cut down as many trees as possible
9. Try finding a parking space
10. I could go on and on....

What is your nominee for Crap Town USA?


Saturday, October 04, 2003

Rock On, Dude!

Some goofy heavy metal band in Florida, Hell On Earth, has been promising their three fans an on-stage suicide. It has brought the band a great deal of publicity that these fifth-raters would never have had otherwise.

Public officials are, of course, outraged and are trying to stop the suicide from happening.

I say let the fucking thing go on. With any luck, it'll become a murder-suicide. The suicidal lunatic should take the band members with him. That'd be pretty cool.


Dear Abby, It Aint

I have found the weirdest advice column.


Rock Lover

I am advising anyone in a Death Pool to pick up Courtney Love now. This lunatic is only a few incidents away from The Big Casino. As a relatively young individual, she should be worth a lot of points.



A tiger has attacked Roy of Siegfreid & Roy fame.

Maybe, we should just leave the tigers the hell alone. Do they really belong in a goddamn casino anyway?


Friday, October 03, 2003

Stay In Your Room, Grandpa!

The late Auberon Waugh is one of my heroes. His son, Alexander, has a wonderful piece about him in today's Daily Telegraph:

In the battle of the generations, my father, Auberon Waugh, also relished both sides of the argument. Old people continually irritated him with their sloth, fastidious worrying and self-pity, especially when he found himself trapped with them on a train: "Anybody who travels a certain amount by train, as I do, will realise that old people are constantly on the move. In every compartment, they can be seen flashing their false teeth from behind their Senior Citizens Railcard, exerting their special brand of dumb appeal to make one carry their suitcases and budgerigar cages for hundreds of yards to where their sullen relatives are waiting to collect them."

But the young in his eyes were never less absurd than the old. He abhorred their smells, their gaucheness, their lofty sang-froid; most of all, he despised the casual appearance of young men:

"Young people," he once wrote, "wear sneakers, trainers and other forms of tennis shoe all day long. These are always rubber-soled and often with a top of some synthetic material that makes the feet sweat and smell and grow various forms of fungus.

"When one thinks how strict the health fanatics are about every form of food, drink and cigar, pipe or cigarette, you would think they would show some concern about these pools of sickness and infection at the bottom of everyone's legs. It may take a year or two for the baneful effects of this footwear to be noticed, but I would not be surprised if most of those smelly feet eventually had to come off."

The only answer, in his view, was to keep the generations apart: "British teachers, instead of filling their pupils' heads with a lot of boring, out-dated rubbish about contraception, abortion, and how to masturbate, should teach each generation an entirely different language. Only those who wish to promote strife for their own sinister purposes can seriously pretend that there is anything to be gained by the generations talking to each other."

It is odd to think of my father, my grandfather and later my sister, Daisy, in the Mail, as being the nation's "voice of youth", but perhaps there is a lesson. You cannot hope to understand other generations by being earnest or psychoanalytic, humourless, serious or family-minded.

As Papa always said: "It would be extraordinarily offensive to tell one's children that they were once carried around in one's testicles and must therefore realise how close they are to one emotionally."


Private Muhammed, Is That A Nuke In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

So, The Pentagon thinks that terrorists may have infiltrated the military.

Didn't these fucking idiots think that al Qaeda would try this? Didn't they prepare? Jesus, you have to wonder what the fuck is going on there. Infiltration of the military was a logical step. I can't believe that military intelligence didn't consider this.

"Rumsfeld said Muslims and Arabs in the military would not be subject to greater scrutiny just because of their ethnicity or religion." Yeah, focus on the fervid Christians and Athiests. That'll be a good use of resources just like the TSA former-burger-flippers who check eighty-year old women in wheelchairs for bombs.

I would hope that The State Department, The FBI and the nuclear industry are also considering this prospect. However, they are probably just as stupid as the folks at The Pentagon. They'll wait for something bad to happen and then react. They'll also spend a lot of time saying that they were not to blame.


They've Got 'Em Now

Gee, does anyone still think that the 1994 deal with North Korea was a good idea?


OK, OK, Here's The College Money!

Some guys do need to be taught a lesson.


Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Mom, Is School Closed?

Well, in Florida, they don't have snow days.


Snerdley, Where's My Hillbilly Heroin?

If Rush Limbaugh is a drug fiend, that would explain those goddamn awful ties he wears. The dude probably drops acid and stares at the goddamn things for hours.

Republicans are getting kind of funky. Arnold is gang-banging and Rush is scoring OxyContin. Can Ann Coulter in a lesbian kiss be far behind?