Tuesday, April 29, 2003

The settlement between various state authorities and Wall Street investment banks will not change very much in the world of financial hucksterism. It does not attack the root of the problem. In fact, the root of the problem can never be eliminated. That root is greed. Henry Blodget and Jack Grubman were certainly liars and con men. However, the "investors" were looking for 1000% annual gains from companies that had little hope of turning a profit. These greedy, slobbering "investors" do not deserve any of their money back. They were gambling, not making logical, reasoned decisions. What really gets me the most is the lack of personal responsibility shown by investors. One jerk was whining to
Neil Cavuto that he lost $600,000. Some ambulance chaser on the same program said it was possible that these investors could get back 100 cents on the dollar (minus of course the mandatory one-third to the vampire). When one invests money, one knows that there is always a risk of losing it. Graham and Dodd laid out the principles for investing many years ago. Yet, most idiots put their retirement funds into the likes of Screw them! These foolish bastards deserve nothing. In fact, by compensating them, we let the next group of foolish bastards think that there is no downside: the market goes up and I win, the market goes down and I sue and win. We should encourage people to take responsibility for their own actions. Grubman got off without an admission of guilt and some investors are getting off with all of their money. There would be a great benefit to the general public during the next market madness if we had a few cat food-eating ex-millionaires to point out as examples of greedy mindlessness. I would like to see some action taken against the morons at CNBC. Besides employing the ugly Maria Bartiromo (What kind of blind bastard thinks she's a Money Honey?), they provided a platform for 10 years for every lying, cheating scoundrel hawking bad stocks. It doesn't excuse the behavior of the investors, but it would be pretty funny to see Rob Insana dragged off in handcuffs.


Monday, April 28, 2003

Smoking has been banned in New York City bars and restaurants. You can go into a gin mill in Queens and drink cheep booze or light beer but you cannot light up. This is ridiculous. If tavern patrons were concerned about their health, they wouldn't be getting loaded on shots of Jack Daniels. Sure, smoking is bad for you. But, do we really want these people living an extra 20 or 30 years. Face it, since 1964 the government has warned the public that cigarettes will kill you. Yet, millions since that time continue to pick up this disgusting habit. I encourage them to smoke. In fact, I encourage them to smoke more. Let them smoke in their bars, in their schools, in their home and in their offices. It is now against the law to sell a pack of Luckies to a 12-year old. Why? Do we really mind stupid children leaving this mortal coil a decade or two early? I should think not. If a child is stupid enough to pick up a cigarette, I say good riddance. Give him a whole carton. Give him a bottle of Wild Irish Rose while you're at it. Give him a gun if he'll use it on himself. Now, many people want to protect children from smoking. They also want to protect adults from smoking. Why? The jackass that smokes is also doing a hundred other stupid things everyday to annoy the citizenry. Let's encourage his speedy demise. It'll mean one less old fart driving with his high beams on. L.S.M.F.T.


Sunday, April 27, 2003

So, some small-time actress, Lyric Benson, was gunned down in New York City by her greasy-haired, earringed ex-boyfriend. To the delight of the tabloids, the victim's mother got to watch. To the delight of New York Taxpayers, Greasy Hair turned the gun on himself so we won't have to pay his rent or feed him for the rest of his unnatural life. None of this is particularly astonishing. Ex-Boyfriends kill the objects of their affections everyday in America. It is a staple of local news along with Dateline and 20/20. It is only a matter of time before the vapid Stone Phillips introduces a story about this latest New York City episode. What is particularly astonishing is that this oily lothario apparantly had no visible means of support. He told the Yale-educated bimbo that his employer was none other than the CIA. Here is a warning to every dopey actress/model/singer/prostitute wannabe: IF THE GUY YOU ARE DATING SAYS THAT HE WORKS FOR THE CIA, HE IS LYING! In addition, this is also an indication that he is mentally unstable. Get the hell away from him. Get a court order. Buy a Mossberg. This guy had no job and hung out in bars all the time. If he wasn't cashing a check from the Red-Neck Lottery (Disability, to those of us in New York City), then this slob must have been a drug dealer. But, our Yale-educated actress never figured this out. Anyway, does New York really need another actress/waitress who is this stupid? We already have enough that can't remember your order.


Thursday, April 24, 2003

While working my way to the editorial page of today's New York Post, there it was: A picture of Sean Lennon. Why, oh, why are we inflicted with a photograph of this man? He is the Modern Zsa Zsa Gabor, someone who does nothing yet is famous for being famous. A couple of years ago, Zsa Zsa Lennon put out an album and actually told the press that he wshed the public would forget his father and idolize him. Well, the Beatles cultists are no better than Star Trek-obsessed freaks, but a good portion of John Lennon's work should stand the test of time. The younger Lennon has not even matched the meager feats of his talentless mother. So, if we won't buy his lousy albums, why do we have to look at him? For chrissakes, I'd rather look at a picture of Blowjob Queen Monica Lewinsky or that Celebrity-Ass-Kissin' Fossil Cindy Adams. NO MORE SEAN LENNON! Not even if he walks into a post office and kills 38! Unless the Post has a photo of him in a compromising position with Osama Bin Laden's camel, don't print photos of this unproductive, underachieving lunkhead anymore!


Tuesday, April 22, 2003

New York City is back in financial trouble. Unless the state of New York caves in to Mayor Bloomberg's begging, there are going to be massive cuts. The state should tell the city to "Drop Dead". Let the mayor make the cuts.. The majority of the city will agree, but the vocal minority that lives off the rest of us will scream bloody murder. The dimwits at the Times and the Daily News will print their woes on the frnt pages. Seniors will bitch that their centers are closed. Retired government employees won't be able to get dollar lunches and make arts and crafts. Fuck them! They should have saved for a rainy day. They'd be in Boca instead of Woodside. There is no costitutional right to babysitting for our elderly. I'd rather have more cops on the job than another bingo hall. The cry that daycare will be cut is also providing fodder for our local media. They howl that unwed mothers will have no place to leave their bastard children. Good! Maybe they'll think twice before they have the next one. Unfortunately, our mayor wants to cut back on the police as well. This is a grave mistake. Most working New Yorkers want as many cops on the job as possible. It's the only way to keep the maggots in check. In the 1960s, Mayor Lindsay put social programs, which he paid for with bogus bond issues, before public safety. It took the city 30 years to recover from his foolish choices. Bloomberg should tell the old fogies to stay home, the unwed mothers to keep their pants on, and the cops, firemen and garbagemen not to worry.


Now that the war seems to have petered out, the news networks have switched to all-Laci Peterson all the time. I guess that we'll be forced to deal with this until the next big crisis which causes the Laaci Petersons and Chandra Levys of the world to fade into the background. The big deal is that these are all white women. If these women were black, no one would give a shit. For months, Elizabeth Smart was on tv incessantly, because she was young and white. At about the same time as her disappearance, a young black girl was also kidnapped. She has still not been found. Yet, I don't even know her name. No one is talking about her. No one will. There are no newspaper sales or tv ratings in this crime. Yet, the media will gladly pay the sleazy Smart family money for photgraphs or a book/movie/lunchbox deal.


Sunday, April 20, 2003

Yesterday, I eagerly raced over to the New York Auto Show. I should have killed myself for going on the first day, but this is like Christmas morning: there are a lot of pairs of socks and pajamas under the tree, but there are one or two Gi Joes and a shiny new bicycle. The crowds were slow moving and stupid. Kids surrounded the maseratis and the new Ferrari Enzo like they would a hot girl at the beach; none had a chance of driving her but they all had to look. Maybach, which is the Mercedes revival of an old German marque, drew as many drooling white males as a titbar after work on a Friday night. What pissed me off the most about Maybach was the chick behind the velvet rope (now metal bars because people are animals). She told me that Maybachs didn't have dealers but studios because each one was indivually designed. What a crock! Thirty years ago, you could have walked into an AMC studio and had a freakin' Gremlin "indiviually designed"! More bullshit to separate fools from there money. Most visitors though were obsessed with the egg-shaped look-a-like vehicles which have desecrated our highways in the last 25 years. There they were staring at Camrys and Aveos and Ultimas and Accords. For chrissakes, the Camry advertises itself as the Most Popular Car in America! Is that any reason for buying it? "Oh, I have to get a Camry because every Fucking Idiot in the Big 50 drives one!" There were even kids looking at these low-level salesman mobiles, dreaming of putting 47 1/2 inch wheels on them. Jesus H. Christ, what happened to the rugged individualists that built this country? Where are the men that say "Fuck You, I don't give a rat's ass about what Consumers Reports or My Mother-in-Law say, I'm buying that drag racer and that's it!"? And, I'm not talking about the mid-life crisis, can't-get-it-up-anymore accountant who buys himself a red Sebring convertible. No, I'm taking Real Men. John Wayne. Ted Williams. George Patton. They could be found in front of the Chrysler 300C.. The car is angular, mean-looking, with 350 horse power which will be unleashed on the expressways next year. No bullshit about cup-holders and baby seats. No mini-van or SUV aura here. This new model was parked next to a 1957 red 300C, which was a car not for bean-counters but men who were fucking their wives and their sectretaries and their best friend's daughter, a car for men who ruled the world. This new 300C seems to be on the same mission. So, Accord driver, next year, when your best friend offers to drive your college-age daughter home in his 300C, don't wonder why she's late.


Saturday, April 19, 2003

So, the body was Laci Peterson's. The media keeps talking about her baby named Connor. We must decide whether this is a baby or a fetus. When Cousin Sally has a miscarriage, we say "Oh, poor Sally lost her baby!" When Cousin Sally realizes that she can't afford another mouth to feed on her salary from McDonald's, she aborts a fetus. It's also the term "abortion". This is something NASA uses when they quit: the mission was "aborted". We refuse to deal in reality because it's painful; so, we use words that make us feel better. Americans should accept that we have a limited form of murder in this country, because we do. That should be the end of the story. Laci Peterson could have walked into a clinic on December 24 and had little Connor's brain sucked out because she realized Scott was a louse fooling around with some broad he picked up in a bar. This is not a moral judgement about the infanticide obsession in this country, It is a statement of fact.. 90% of the people in this country are jackasses. If we kill 50,000 jackasses a year, that's 45,000 jackasses that won't be bothering the rest of us. As for the brain vacuuming, maybe we should do this with our death row inmates. Afterall, it seems quicker and a good percentage of the country seems to be in favor of it. Since we kill babies and criminals, why do we punish Kevorkian? If somone wants to kill themselves, let them. Who wants to listen to some old, drooling fart whine all day "I wish I was dead." We seem to think that it's "humane" when we put old, sick Fido down. Why not Grandpa? And, what about the annoying? We murder the criminals we hate, the babies we find inconvenient and the dogs we love. Why not the people that piss us off? For instance, let's look at Dan Rather. Here's a shit-kicker that no one likes and only a few self-hating Americans bother to watch. Rather than listening to him go on and on about how Bush is killing innocent Iraqis, let's suck his brains out. I bet that the average American could name 10 people whose brains should be vacuumed. This is the perfect way to increase participation in our republic. Far more than 50% of eligible voters would turn out if we got a chance to rid ourselves of the country's most annoying bastard each November. Imagine all of the immigrants who would want to become 100% Yankee-Doodle Dandies just for the opportunity to get rid of Simon from American Idol. Think about the campaigning. I envision commercials paid for by the Friends of Larry King promoting Corey Feldman as the Most Annoying Prick in these United States. Pretty Cool, huh?


Thursday, April 17, 2003

Enough about David Bloom already! Listen, I'm sure he was a nice guy, a good father, blah, blah, blah, but ENOUGH already!
Tom Brokaw eulogized Bloom as a "soldier's soldier." Bloom was not Audie Murphy. The guy was a tv reporter who died from sitting still for too long. Sure, it was in Iraq, but this could just have well as been a flight from Australia. Many young men went off to Iraq and died while fighting the enemy not while thinking about talking to Katie Couric back in New York. This is a perfect example of the media making itself the story. Let's keep things in perspective. A tv reporter died while sitting still. Over 100 soldiers died. Most in combat. Many had families just like Bloom. But, the media is niot droning on and on about them. Michael Kelly also went to the Big Casino during this excursion. I'm sure that his former employers at The Atlantic will make a big deal about his drowning. However, since so few read that magazine, we won't have to hear about it thankfully. Let's face it. The media is a whore's paradise. They'll talk about Bloom until all the viewers start to change channels and then, they hope, that body will be identified as Laci Peterson's.


Wednesday, April 16, 2003

The party is over for Abu Abbas (if you can call scurrying from the West Bank to Baghdad a party). Good! He is another piece of the Saddam-terrorism puzzle. It is important that we do not turn him over to the Italians who fucked us once over this swine. We had a chance to grab this shoe-licker but he got away. Now, he's ours. The Palestinian Authority demands he go free because of Oslo. This bit of Clinton-era nonsense should be confined to the garbage heap of history along with Kellogg-Briand. So, don't give him over to Arafat. And, don't give him to the Italians. The chance of breaking out of an Italian prison is probably greater than breaking out of Gitmo. The bastard ought to be sent to Cuba and held like any other terrorist.

Remember, Abbas is not a brave man. He was a coward, caught while trying to flee. And, like all terrorists, he liked to kill civilians, especially the old, infirm, women and children. Abu Abbas never had the balls to attack the IDF or the Mossad. No, it was easier to execute a 69-year old wheel chair-bound man on a cruise ship. This is the height of cowardice and dishonor. But, then, the Islamo-fascists embody these dispicable traits.

Abbas should be held in the hot sun of Gitmo until he hits 69. Then, he should be strapped to a wheel chair. A pork salami should be shoved up his ass. He should be taken on a boat out into the Atlantic and thrown overboard. It could be shown on pay-per-view with either Howard Stern or Geraldo as host. The post-execution show could feature an Abbas chat with John Edwards.


Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Should we boycott the French?


The only way to show displeasure with the government of France is to boycott their products and to avoid travel to their country. By hurting them in their pocketbook, we can help the French citizenry to change their government. Jacques Laval, er-Chirac, can be manipulated. He is obviously a spineless collaborator. Let us make him cower with our wallets.

The US receives 25% of all French exports. We are also the world's largest importer of French wine. If we could just cut back on-quarter of our purchases, this could mean the difference between profit and loss for the French producers. And, like all good businessmen, they will want to avert losses. So, drink some wine from California or Long Island and avoid the Mouton Cadet.
And if you really need to travel to France, take a trip to Vegas, stay at the Paris Hotel and get completely fractured; you'll think that you're on the Left Bank.

As for French restaurants in America, it is silly to boycott these establishments. However, it is important to avoid any French-produced products sold in these restaurants. If you do eat in a French establishment, ask the owner if any of the food is imported from France. Tell him that you only want American products. This will send a message.

French-owned companies should be completely avoided. Insure with Geico or State farm not Axa Don't go to Club Med; get laid at an American resort. Let them sell Veuve Cliquot to the Arabians.

The boycott is also good because it will condition us. At some point, we will have to face up to the belligerent tactics of the Commu-fascists of China. This is a government that employs slave labor, slaughters those who disagree with its policies and routinely threatens the United States. As evil a bastard as Hussein was, the Chinese government is infinitely worse.

As most of the Wal-Mart shopping public buys most of its toys, clothes and electronics from the Peoples Republic, it will be an uphill battle to stop them from buying this poorly-made crap. The only clothing manufactured in the US is top-of the-line. Most Americans will recoil at the idea of paying $95 for a pair of khakis or $45 for a sweatshirt after paying $9.99 at their local big box store. Boycotting Chinese products will be a difficult task. However, by getting Americans to avoid products from France, it will make a boycott of China much easier.


Monday, April 14, 2003

Matt Drudge spent some time on his radio show last night talking about an article in today's New York Times regarding soldiers killed in Iraq and their anti-war family members.

First, these soldiers were volunteers not conscripts. No one forced them to join the military.They were adults that consciously decided to join the military. By doing so, they accepted that there would be certain risks: going into battle and becoming a casualty. While it is sad that they perished, there is little doubt that they died in a job that they willingly chose to do. I'm sure that there were German-Americans in 1942 that were against fighting the Nazis. Would The Times have done a story allowing them to whine about how the war against Germany was unnecessary?

Secondly, as for The New York Times, why all the reverence? Only three-tenths of one percent of Americans read this paper. Most don't know or care who Howell Raines is. This is not the 60's when Walter Cronkite held sway over the airwaves. People get their news from a variety of sources and no outlet is dominant. More people watch Bill O'Reilly than read The Times. The only reason that The New York Times gets any attention is that there are certain individuals in the New York-Washington Axis who need it in order to know what to think.

So, if you are not on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, heading off to your therapist before going to your Pilates class, forget about The Times. It doesn't count for much nowadays.


Sunday, April 13, 2003

So, Janeane Garofalo promised to get down on her knees. Does she realize that Clinton is no longer in the White House? She is the Great Stainmaker's type of woman: Ugly and heavy-bottomed. She was wrong about the war and now claims that her political views are keeping her from working. Look, ABC employs that foreign-born, America-hating scumbag, Peter Jennings. Why wouldn't they give a job to a woman uglier than Drew Carey? Could it be that the bespeckled actress is merely devoid of marketable talent? She should be working the register at Wal-Mart. Perhaps, soon.

Speaking of fat-assed and devoid of talent, when the hell is Alec Baldwin leaving for France? Didn't that urger of assination (r.e. Henry Hyde) say he would high tail it out of here if Bush won? Maybe he can take Janeane Fat-ass with him.


Saturday, April 12, 2003

The omitted links are:

Jordan Eason:



For some amusement, one can turn to ; this listing of comments and predictions about the war in Iraq should leave your head shaking for hours.

How many people could have been saved if CNN had printed the truth? The editorial by CNN Executive Eason Jordan ( ) is an example of sociopathocracy. He allowed people to be killed in order for CNN to continue to report from Baghdad. How does he sleep at night?

Speaking of CNN, does anyone look unhappier about the war's progress than Judy Woodruff? I guess she'd prefer that we lost more of our young men and women while killing thousands of Iraqis. She could use a Midol or a good fuck.


Friday, April 11, 2003

The United states has become a Sociopathocracy. Words and deeds are now executed without regard for their consequences. No one takes responsibility for his or her actions.